"CHECK SIDE LIGHT" - A literal Hack!

If you have a later model E39, you might see this alert on the lower middle display, as it did for me. After some walking around the car and the requisite reading online, the problem seemed because of the driver side angel eye (USA, 2003 525i). Generally, I tend to understand, then ignore these lights if warranted. However, the "red corners" on the display - making this a more critical warning, and the pings during every turn on and off, grated on me enough to try to replace the light.

Thus started another saga. As always, please treat this as entertainment. And not Dialysis. To paraphrase the legendary Nelson Pass. YMMV and assume your own risks......

One thing about the E39's headlamp is that the bulbs are accessible without removing the wheels or the bumper, unlike the E90 which took me 4 hours to change a similar angel eye bulb. I digress. I yank on what looks like the right part. And it comes out. Or atleast something comes out. 2 out of the 3 parts of this "assembly".

 

 

According to realoem.com, my car has xenon headlights. It does not - perhaps a previous caretaker changed it. That said, the angel-eye seemed to be the same: 63126904048. The good folks at FCP euro list 3 variants. Two with both the plastic housings: $26.69 Hella and $51.99 BMW; and one for just the bulb alone for $7.29 What ?? I look closer in the car with a headlamp (camping style - for the human) and there is a marking that says "Auf" (Parle vous Française?) and an arrow mark, on the part that stayed in the car! Ah. 1 out of 3 also comes out. Does the bulb come out? After struggling with it for a bit, the right brain pushes on the bulb and out it comes - it is a press turn type. At the local parts store, the bulb is 8.99 at one store, and 6.99 at another. What?? Rockauto will sell you 10x 64132 bulbs for 20.70, or 10x H6W for 4.78, or 1x H6W for 2.55.

The last time I got something from the local parts store, it did not go well. The license plate lamps. Yet another story.

As a friend warned me, old plastic in the engine bay = brittle.

 

 

What? If that were the end of the story, where is the literal "Hack"? In the next picture, the new bulb is on the left. Looks ok in this view.

 

Argh, but these are three dimensional things in a three dimensional world. In the picture below, the new one is on the right. Do you see the nubs are not at 180 degrees ?

 

So, here is the hack. I wanted to get by, at least for a while, before paying all the related entities for this irresponsible design decision. I considered snipping the metal in the plastic housings, but that plastic cracked on its own later. I snipped one of the nubs with a sharp through-hole electronics snipper. When I tried the bulb in the housing, it almost fit. What next? Ah - remember the file? The one that I got to tune skis? Sure. After a few passes, on the remnant of the snipped nub, it worked. It was a fairly tight fit. I quick-glued and electrical taped the housing pieces. And take that - no more alerts, though I don't know for how long this will last. But not hearing the pings on every turn on and turn off is worth it.